My Daughter is a Nut!

I say this with love. Some days, I am completely floored—often with laughter—at her completely skewed approach to life. Just the other night, we were having a nice time together watching television—I was crocheting, she was on the computer. Something I saw on TV inspired me to ask her, “If you could travel to any country in the world, where would you go?”

There was a delay in her response—at first I thought it was due to a thoughtful pondering of the question—but then I heard this come out of the computer:

“Nih-yoo-ee.”

Huh?

“Nih-yoo-ee.”

This was not the first time that my daughter has chosen to talk to me through the computer—one time it lasted for more than half an hour, and nearly pushed me over the edge. This time, I immediately lost my patience because—on top of hoping for a nice conversation with my daughter about travel—I had NO idea what the computer was saying. She, on the other hand, was hysterically laughing—holding her stomach as she rocked back and forth—all while repeatedly clicking “Enter”:

Computer: “Nih-yoo-ee. Nih-yoo-ee. Nih-yoo-ee. Nih-yoo-ee. Nih-yoo-ee.”

I lost it. I yelled “You had better use your own voice to tell me what country you want to go to, and if you click enter once more, you’re going straight to bed.” As soon as she got her laughter under control, she simply said “Niue.”

Huh?

Knowing that I am fairly knowledgeable about World geography (although not as knowledgeable as her, or so she says quite often), she had gone online to find a country that she knew I would have never heard of. Yep, definitely not the thoughtful conversation that I had hoped to have.

As I looked at her incredulously, she once again attempted to hold back her glee at being just so clever. I told her at that moment that she was nuts, and that I was going to share this fact with the world (or at least with those who read this blog), and in order to emphasize this point, I told her I would include her “biography” from Google+.

She was ecstatic!

So, World, here is an example of my daughter’s creativity, eccentricity, and general nuttiness, in her own words:

I used to live on planet ZSTXX. I was sent on a secret mission for my secret job when I was just a helpless fetus. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. Sorry about that. What I meant to say was, you may say I look like my parents, but what you do not know is that I am shape shifter. (Don’t ask—please) When the bad economical stage hit, I had a rough time. By the way, I’m not talking about 2008, I’m talking about the Great Depression. I lived in a small wood area. I became the raccoon queen. We ate like kings (well when people threw out tainted sushi). During the 1940’s I was that close to killing Hitler. You may or may not know that I am. . . Elvis Presley. Elvis was a very tough job. He was a character of my imagination. I wasn’t born Elvis, but I am the reason why he is now who he is. I was also Bono during the 80’s, and John Lennon. I kind of switched out when I had some conflicts with the other “bugs.” Did you know I created the phrase “Far out”? I also helped free Nelson Mandela from prison in the 90’s. Believe it or not, the time that really changed my life was on September 26, 1999. I was a member of a Reggae Band that was performing at a wedding. I always liked to be formed as a performer. Anyway, I saw this beautiful couple. Because of my supernatural powers, I can detect a fetus. I had a feeling this couple would make beautiful children. After I was done performing, I switched out of the Reggae singer. I soon became the baby inside of the woman’s stomach. You are probably wondering where that other baby is now. Well, she is on planet ZSTXX. I am now the daughter of Erin and Kadir, born on April 5, 2000, and so far this is my favorite role.

So, there you have it—my daughter.

Now I have a question for all you parents out there—is this normal? Are all eleven year-old children as nutty as my own?

As I write this, I am trying to imagine a day when my daughter’s nuttiness is replaced by one of seriousness—or even worse—teen surliness. There are times when I am not in the mood for my daughter’s crazy behavior—I may even be guilty of yelling a little more often than I laugh. I think that instead of giving advice to my daughter that may alter her in someway, I should instead write down the advice for myself. The advice I have is to cherish these silly moments while I have them, because who knows when they will come to an end.